Do Not Read This Title

What trade is the King?

A cabinet maker.


What trade is the sun ?

A tanner.


Which of the King's subjects is allowed to sit before him
with his hat on?

His coachman.


Why is a tallow chandler the most wicked as well as the most unfortunate man ?

All his works are wicked, and all his wicked works are brought to light.


A lady asked a gentleman his age. His answer was, "What you do in every thing?

Excel, XL. (forty)


Why is a proud lady like a music book ?

She is full of airs.


What is highest without a head?

A pillow.


What is that which goes from London to York without once
moving ?

The road.


My first's a lie, my second's a lie, my whole is an emblem of innocence.

A lily.


What is that which a coach cannot go without, and still
of no use to it?

Noise.


Why is a nail drove home to the ¡head like an old man?

Because it's in-firm.


Why is a thief that is breaking in at the top of a house like an honest man?

Because he is above, doing a bad action.


(Courtesy of the Colonial Times, 1830)

What is it?

Twas in heaven pronounc'd -- it was muttered in hell
And echo caught faintly the sound as it fell ;
On the confines of earth 'twas permitted to rest,
And the depths of the ocean its presence confess'd ;
'Twill be found in the sphere, when driven asunder,
Be seen in the lightning and heard in the thunder ;
'Twas allotted to man with his earliest breath,
It assists him in birth and attends him in death,
Presides o'er his happiness, honor, and health,
Is the prop of his house and the end of his wealth ;
In the heaps of the miser 'tis hoarded with care,
But is sure to be lost with his prodigal heir ;
It begins ev'ry hope, ev'ry wish it must bound,
And, tho' unaspiring, with monarchs is crown'd ;
"Without it the soldier and seaman may roam,
But woe to the wretch who expels it from home;
In the whisper of conscience its voice will be found,
Nor e'en in the whirlwind its passion be drown'd ;
'Twill not soften the heart, but, tho' deaf be the ear,
It will make it acutely and instantly hear ;
But in tho shade let it rest, Like a delicate flower,
Oh ! breathe on it softly--it dies in an hour.



(From The Sydney Gazette and New South Wales Advertiser, Thursday 4 June 1829)