Once upon a time there was a famous sea captain. This captain was very successful at what he did; for years he guided merchant ships all over the world. Never did stormy seas or pirates get the best of him. He was admired by his crew and fellow captains.
However, there was one thing different about this captain. Every morning he went through a strange ritual. He would lock himself in his captain's quarters and open a small safe. In the safe was an envelope with a piece of paper inside. He would stare at the paper for a minute, then lock it back up. After, he would go about his daily duties.
For years this went on, and his crew became very curious. Was it a treasure map? Was it a letter from a long lost love? Everyone speculated about the contents of the strange envelope.
One day the captain died at sea. After laying the captain's body to rest, the first mate led the entire crew into the captains quarters. He opened the safe, got the envelope, opened it and...
The first mate turned pale and showed the paper to the others. Four words were on the paper, two on two lines:
"Port Left, Starboard Right."
However, there was one thing different about this captain. Every morning he went through a strange ritual. He would lock himself in his captain's quarters and open a small safe. In the safe was an envelope with a piece of paper inside. He would stare at the paper for a minute, then lock it back up. After, he would go about his daily duties.
For years this went on, and his crew became very curious. Was it a treasure map? Was it a letter from a long lost love? Everyone speculated about the contents of the strange envelope.
One day the captain died at sea. After laying the captain's body to rest, the first mate led the entire crew into the captains quarters. He opened the safe, got the envelope, opened it and...
The first mate turned pale and showed the paper to the others. Four words were on the paper, two on two lines:
"Port Left, Starboard Right."
Some Old Jokes
Jun. 13th, 2010 09:13 pm"I'm afraid of lightning," murmured a pretty young woman, during a storm.
"Well, you may," sighed her despairing lover, "when your heart is steel."
(Examiner, 6 February 1847)
Somebody asked George Coleman the difference between an attorney and a solicitor.
"The same, I believe," said Coleman, "as between a crocodile and an alligator."
(Examiner, 6 February 1847)
A recruiting sergeant lately accosted an honest hand in Northumberland. "Come lad! You'll fight for your Queen, won't you?"
"Fight for t' Queen?" answered Andrew, "why, hez she fa'n oot wi ony body?"
(Examiner, 10 February 1847)
( Read more... )
"Well, you may," sighed her despairing lover, "when your heart is steel."
(Examiner, 6 February 1847)
Somebody asked George Coleman the difference between an attorney and a solicitor.
"The same, I believe," said Coleman, "as between a crocodile and an alligator."
(Examiner, 6 February 1847)
A recruiting sergeant lately accosted an honest hand in Northumberland. "Come lad! You'll fight for your Queen, won't you?"
"Fight for t' Queen?" answered Andrew, "why, hez she fa'n oot wi ony body?"
(Examiner, 10 February 1847)
( Read more... )
