(no subject)

[xenith]

Sunday night, when we went to bed, Jaz was obviously not happy. She was groaning & complaining a lot. She kept this up most of the night. Often when I checked on her, she was sleeping on the bedroom floor, she'd be trying to lay upright but she'd just fall over to the side.

By 4.30 am, it'd become a constant shriek, so I got up. She'd stop when I spoke to her or patted her, but start again when I left. I got into an upright lying position, and as her head was around to the right, she managed to stay up.

I went and had a shower, and found she'd finally fallen asleep, holding herself up by her nose. Silly pup. She stayed asleep, although every ten minutes she'd barking loudly, the "go away" back.

About 8.30 I rang up the vet and got her in early. Just after nine when I checked on her, she was still sleeping upright but had managed to get her head stretched out properly and looked to be sleeping comfortably.

At 9.15 I went into the bathroom to get ready to take her to vets, and she was lying stretched out, but not groaning, so I went to check on her and she didn't respond. Her eyes were dull, but I've seem like that when she's deep asleep, she was still warm but she wasn't there. I held her and screamed :(



We buried Jaz in mum's yard just after 6 pm last night. My sister came by on her way home from work.

We put in her red lead, her bowl, that still had the tender lambs chunks we'd bought her on Sunday in it, the new tennis ball she'd never played with and my old jeans, because she liked to sleep on my clothes. I think that's everything a little dog needs. Then some daffodils and the first tulip & iris from mum's garden.

Two weeks, even a week ago, she was happy, active little dog. She shouldn't be dead.

There's a scene in the novel I'm working on now, where Tibe is talking to his foster father. Dari says "How many of us get to die in our beds surrounded by those we love?" One thing I was always afraid of was having to decide whether to have her put down or not. Instead she died in her sleep, in the same place she always slept, knowing her person was near and watching over her.

When we buried her, mum said she was the most alive looking dead animal she's ever seen, and she's seen too many. But she was a Jack Russell and they're always lively, even when dead. She was always the epitome of what a JR should be :)

Comments

[monissaw.livejournal.com]

This is good :) I'd say everyone should have a pet, but that'd make me a hypocrite I think.

[webfarmer.livejournal.com]

I'm sure it would be good for my own health. I tend to stress out a lot and having a pet might help in that regard. Also being a single person, it would be nice to have some company. The big thing is the constant responsibility for the animal and having to find someone to care for it if I couldn't for some reason.

It's always something in life. No free lunches. :)