Lots of sad.

Realised last night that the best solution to writing problems is to just stick to first drafts. That is, I can write stuff that I like to write and just keep it for myself to read. This gets rid of the crap part that is making me miserable and is probably why I can't do second drafts anymore.

The downside is it means no one else will ever get to read my characters and as fictional characters only exist if people read them, they'll never really exist. My moody Matt and his psychotic misunderstood brother, or little Davie and his seal friend, or Nat and her "boys", and everyone else who I spent so many years bringing to life will never actually live. This makes me so very sad. Makes them sad too. That's a lot of sad. So I will be grumpy until it goes away.

Worst thing though, if no one cares. Why should they? They don't know these "people".