Chameleons
Sep. 8th, 2013 03:03 pmThis made me cry...
"Girls and women who have Asperger's syndrome can be like a chameleon, changing persona according to the situation, but no one knowing the genuine persona. She fears that the real person must remain secret because that person is defective."
Yes :(
I was looking for something that was talked about yesterday, and came across this, the forward for Safety Skills for Asperger Women by Liane Holliday Willey. This paragraph is so me, and also other people:
"In early childhood, probably long before a diagnostic assessment, a girl who has the characteristics of Asperger's syndrome will begin to know she is different to other girls. She may not identify with or want to play cooperatively with her female peers. Her thoughts can be that the play of other girls is stupid, boring and inexplicable. She may prefer to play alone so that she can play her way. Her interests can be different to other girls, not necessarily in terms of focus, but intensity and quality. For example, she may collect over 50 Barbie dolls and choose not to enact with her friends from the neighbourhood 'Barbie getting married' but arrange the dolls in particular configurations. There can be a determination to organise toys rather than share toys and also not play with toys in conventional ways. She may prefer non-gender specific toys such as Lego and not seek acquisitions related to the latest craze for girls her age to be 'cool' and popular. There can be an aversion to the concept of femininity in wearing the latest fashions or fancy or frilly clothing. The preference can be for practical, comfortable clothing with lots of pockets. While boys with Asperger's syndrome can fixate on facts, and some girls with Asperger's syndrome can also have an encyclopaedic knowledge of specific topics, there can be an intense interest in reading and escaping into fiction, enjoying a fantasy world, creating a new persona, talking to imaginary friends and writing fiction at an early age. Another escape is into the exciting world of nature, having an intuitive understanding of animals, not people. Animals become loyal friends, eager to see and be with you, with her feeing safe from being teased or rejected and appreciated by her animal friends."
Strongly recommend reading the rest of the page too because it brings up some other good points. Two topics of conversation from yesterday that were intertwined the benefits of Aspergers and the problems with generalisations. This forward addresses some of those generalisations, those that apply to men/boys e.g.the focus on collecting facts. Another that I was grumbling about was the strong association, especially in articles about employment, with maths/science/engineering. There was a general agreement from the group that this was not the case for them and indeed maths was awful. There was disagreement though on whether this applied to algebra & trigonometry (some hated them, some found them easy because it was just following steps) or just calculus.
Generalisations fill a need, obviously. They simplify explanations & enhance basic understanding. But then they create problems when it comes to individuals, or even groups who don't fit the generalisations, like the little aspie girls who sit quietly in the corner doing their school work, so they're get "detected" and offered help.
(And it's not about social conditioning. This is actually something I've wondered about. I was not ever raised to be passive, to sit quietly and accept a situation or this other stuff that other women say they were, and yet I will because.... ah, blending in. Other situations, I have to remind myself to not talk all the time, let other people have a say, stop trying to rock the boat all the time.)
Also, that first quote is why I find it hard to write things here *sigh*
"Girls and women who have Asperger's syndrome can be like a chameleon, changing persona according to the situation, but no one knowing the genuine persona. She fears that the real person must remain secret because that person is defective."
Yes :(
I was looking for something that was talked about yesterday, and came across this, the forward for Safety Skills for Asperger Women by Liane Holliday Willey. This paragraph is so me, and also other people:
"In early childhood, probably long before a diagnostic assessment, a girl who has the characteristics of Asperger's syndrome will begin to know she is different to other girls. She may not identify with or want to play cooperatively with her female peers. Her thoughts can be that the play of other girls is stupid, boring and inexplicable. She may prefer to play alone so that she can play her way. Her interests can be different to other girls, not necessarily in terms of focus, but intensity and quality. For example, she may collect over 50 Barbie dolls and choose not to enact with her friends from the neighbourhood 'Barbie getting married' but arrange the dolls in particular configurations. There can be a determination to organise toys rather than share toys and also not play with toys in conventional ways. She may prefer non-gender specific toys such as Lego and not seek acquisitions related to the latest craze for girls her age to be 'cool' and popular. There can be an aversion to the concept of femininity in wearing the latest fashions or fancy or frilly clothing. The preference can be for practical, comfortable clothing with lots of pockets. While boys with Asperger's syndrome can fixate on facts, and some girls with Asperger's syndrome can also have an encyclopaedic knowledge of specific topics, there can be an intense interest in reading and escaping into fiction, enjoying a fantasy world, creating a new persona, talking to imaginary friends and writing fiction at an early age. Another escape is into the exciting world of nature, having an intuitive understanding of animals, not people. Animals become loyal friends, eager to see and be with you, with her feeing safe from being teased or rejected and appreciated by her animal friends."
Strongly recommend reading the rest of the page too because it brings up some other good points. Two topics of conversation from yesterday that were intertwined the benefits of Aspergers and the problems with generalisations. This forward addresses some of those generalisations, those that apply to men/boys e.g.the focus on collecting facts. Another that I was grumbling about was the strong association, especially in articles about employment, with maths/science/engineering. There was a general agreement from the group that this was not the case for them and indeed maths was awful. There was disagreement though on whether this applied to algebra & trigonometry (some hated them, some found them easy because it was just following steps) or just calculus.
Generalisations fill a need, obviously. They simplify explanations & enhance basic understanding. But then they create problems when it comes to individuals, or even groups who don't fit the generalisations, like the little aspie girls who sit quietly in the corner doing their school work, so they're get "detected" and offered help.
(And it's not about social conditioning. This is actually something I've wondered about. I was not ever raised to be passive, to sit quietly and accept a situation or this other stuff that other women say they were, and yet I will because.... ah, blending in. Other situations, I have to remind myself to not talk all the time, let other people have a say, stop trying to rock the boat all the time.)
Also, that first quote is why I find it hard to write things here *sigh*
