Random visions of a future past
Nov. 30th, 2011 09:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xenithThis is wonderful. It's based on Launceston but, once you get past the first bit, I don't think that really matters. (A bit over ambitious with the newspaper editions, do you think?)
It is far more intriguing to gaze with prophetic eye into the future than ruminate retrospectively on the past or to reflect prosaicly on the present.
"A prophet hath no honour in his own country," postulated the good St. John. But he knew nothing about crystal sets, television, light aeroplanes or electric heating. He didn't even know anything about high audio frequency. Neither do you or 1; but that is beside the point. And so I must go on.
Come, take a ramble in your imagination with me through Launceston on this summer afternoon in this year of grace 1978. You are probably in your 90th year, but, having taken the advice of Professor Voronoff in your youth, you have all the vivacity and ebullience of a schoolboy. Therefore, your imagination should be correspondingly accommodating.
Mind your head! Those beastly air hogs fly too low these days in t heir light 'planes. 1 thought lie was going to hit that mechanical policeman. I must say he plies a pleasing 'plane. Do you remember a time--30 years ago--when the traffic used to be controlled by policemen? What were they? Six feet of humanity with blue uniforms and a bored smile. They used to write nasty things in small books when you did things with cars.
Yes, this is St. John Street. These were the old Public Buildings right up till 1938. There is the old Income Tax Office. Remember when taxes used to be a shilling and more in the pound? A bit different to 1/2d per cent, eh? Those were barbarous days, as Kipling used to say on his way from the races.
Let's stop here for a moment in Brisbane Street. What crowds there are now since Launceston has reached a population of 500,000! Can you put your mind into reverse and recollect the 50,000 League? A fine body of men. Even they were not optimistic enough to visualise half a million people. They are still in existence, only under another name, of course. The Five Million Club is their present designation.
I rather like the look of those 15-storey shops, though they do give you the feeling of a hemmed-in atom. Once Brisbane Street extended only 250 yards or so. But people have made so much money since Mr. Ockerby gave us 3 o'clock closing that they have been able to put their money into building investments--and this is the result. No, thanks. There's no time to have one now--it's just gone three. And since they have put those televisors into the bars they'd know it at the Police Station as soon as we approached the counter.
Wonderful how cities spread. There was a time when Launceston and Hobart were over 120 miles apart. With the growth of the cities southwards and northwards respectively there is barely 50 miles separating them now. Yes, Hobart is still progressing, but they have never been quite the same since the Capital, the Railway, Mining and Agricultural Departments were moved up here. A, a matter of fact, our present Premier lives in a houseboat on Hobart Harbour--no, we never had the heart to take that away from them--but it only takes him 19 minutes or so in his Sopwith Pup to go backwards and forwards every day.
What, you have never been in Hobart? Well, step into that televisor box and ask them for a Hobart panoramic call, Harbour and all. Don't be long.
Like it? I thought you would. If you are doing nothing this afternoon we will take a trip around the Island in one of those new airships. It only 1s 6d plus tax.
No, Parliament's not sitting today, although they're Supposed to be in session, but if you would like to go out to the Golf Links--it is only just beyond the City, about 30 miles away--we'll probably see all the members out there. No, Mr. Ockerby hasn't banned golf yet, though there are those who say it has a worse effect on the temper than liquor.
Now that golf played from the new gyroscopic 'planes has became more or less universally popular, there is some talk of evolving Parliamentary sittings out of mechanical men during the winter, when M.H.A.'s have little time for politics. Yes, I agree. The debates of the future may become quite intelligent.
Ah, here we are! That is the first tee. Don't drop your cigarette ash anywhere near that little mound. It puts Mr. Raeburn off his game. See how stationary the gyros are while the players take off from the green? That is Sir John Ramsay. He was the first president of the Rotary Club. They used to lunch at the Brisbane Hotel once a month. They hold their luncheons every other day now in the big airship moored to that big mast over the City. Yes it has all changed, hasn't it--though I believe they still take their luncheons neat. But, as I said, the bar's open till three!
Let's pop over to the Electric Hares. They have electric dogs nowadays, as you probably know. And when it is raining they have electric spectators too, who can shout just like you and me. People who are listening-in or looking-in like to know that there is some excitement and noise amongst the crowd looking mechanically on. I believe coursing was good sport once.
Before we go home let's look in on the River Tamar. It runs right through the heart of the City. See that 17,000-ton liner there at the wharf? I can remember when boats like that used to anchor down the river. They only carry freight now--and a few passengers who cannot stand travelling by aeroplane. They have over 90 feet of water there at Abra's Wharf--that wharf was called after the King at one time. No, 1 cannot say that Mr. Broinowski altogether likes the idea of it. But even "The Mercury" cannot stop that. He tried to defeat the Bill for the Erection Of the 4th "A" Class Broadcasting Station in the North, as Hobart only had two. But public opinion---that is "The Examiner"--and Mr. McPhee were too strong for him. That's Mr. McPhee getting into that aerial express. He has been Premier for 50 years now. Quite young-looking, isn't he? He's just been over to Canberra to see about that Special Grant Tasmania has been asked to make to the Commonwealth. One member of the Opposition told him to tell the Commonwealth that they would be welcome to the other Grant we have in Parliament--but I think he was only joking. Mr. McPhee incidentally opened the new tunnel across Bass Strait while he was in Melbourne. That's the only safe road for motorists these days, what with light 'planes and so forth--I believe some of the old Diehards still ride about in those antiquated contrivances.
This is our Victoria Museum. Let's float inside for a moment. We'll just dwell for a second or two in this chamber devoted to relics of half a century. That document resembling an Egyptian papyrus is the only extant copy of the old Navigation Act, the original draft of which was publicly burnt in Franklin Square in 1940, amidst the execration of the mob. Such was its effect on the Prime Minister of the day, who was spending a few days' holiday in Hobart at the time, that he had the thing expunged from the Constitution. That's the prime reason for the statue Of Mr. Bruce you see in the middle of the Square there. He doesn't look a day over 70, does he! Ocean Pier has never looked back since.
That's the first copy of "The Mercury" after the commencement of the early delivery in Launceston. That's gone out long ago. "The Examiner" started to bring out a comprehensive edition of next day's news before dinner the preceding evening
Just one look at the Gorge before we go. Once upon a time, as Mr. Hans Andersen used to say, it was something of a national event when the Gorge was in flood. Now they manage, by means of huge propellers worked by dynamoes and carefully hidden, to have the Cataract Gorge perpetually in flood--in a continual state of frantic perturbation, as it were. We throw our politicians in there when they peeve us at election time. Not such a bad death, they say. It is illuminated every night with a multi-coloured effect. Every Saturday afternoon the receiving sets which you see at intervals of every 100 yards or so are placed into commission, and give the latest racing results. I won 13s in the Caulfield last year.
Here we are back in town, That eleven-storey building is the Capitol. Yes, it is a picture theatre, as its name suggests. People who wish to listen-in in peace with portable receiving sets can go there for a little quietness. No, they have no orchestras. Yes, sometimes they look at the pictures when the racing results are finished, or during the Children's Hour. I have only seen it empty once. That was when results of a General Election were coming through.
There's a lot more to see, but time's getting on. Televise me after breakfast in the morning and we will go and see some more in the single-seater Moth. Don't bring your pocket listening-in set. It's too distracting. It is interesting now to put the calendar back 50 years to the days when flappers were 17 instead of 47; when railway trains used to crawl between Launceston and Hobart at 40 miles an hour; when boys believed in Father Christmas; when girls wore skirts nearly to the knees; and when the State was in no danger of being overcrowded. Cheerio!
(Originally in the weekly Courier Christmas Annual, 1st November 1928 and you can also find it online)
It is far more intriguing to gaze with prophetic eye into the future than ruminate retrospectively on the past or to reflect prosaicly on the present.
"A prophet hath no honour in his own country," postulated the good St. John. But he knew nothing about crystal sets, television, light aeroplanes or electric heating. He didn't even know anything about high audio frequency. Neither do you or 1; but that is beside the point. And so I must go on.
Come, take a ramble in your imagination with me through Launceston on this summer afternoon in this year of grace 1978. You are probably in your 90th year, but, having taken the advice of Professor Voronoff in your youth, you have all the vivacity and ebullience of a schoolboy. Therefore, your imagination should be correspondingly accommodating.
Mind your head! Those beastly air hogs fly too low these days in t heir light 'planes. 1 thought lie was going to hit that mechanical policeman. I must say he plies a pleasing 'plane. Do you remember a time--30 years ago--when the traffic used to be controlled by policemen? What were they? Six feet of humanity with blue uniforms and a bored smile. They used to write nasty things in small books when you did things with cars.
Yes, this is St. John Street. These were the old Public Buildings right up till 1938. There is the old Income Tax Office. Remember when taxes used to be a shilling and more in the pound? A bit different to 1/2d per cent, eh? Those were barbarous days, as Kipling used to say on his way from the races.
Let's stop here for a moment in Brisbane Street. What crowds there are now since Launceston has reached a population of 500,000! Can you put your mind into reverse and recollect the 50,000 League? A fine body of men. Even they were not optimistic enough to visualise half a million people. They are still in existence, only under another name, of course. The Five Million Club is their present designation.
I rather like the look of those 15-storey shops, though they do give you the feeling of a hemmed-in atom. Once Brisbane Street extended only 250 yards or so. But people have made so much money since Mr. Ockerby gave us 3 o'clock closing that they have been able to put their money into building investments--and this is the result. No, thanks. There's no time to have one now--it's just gone three. And since they have put those televisors into the bars they'd know it at the Police Station as soon as we approached the counter.
Wonderful how cities spread. There was a time when Launceston and Hobart were over 120 miles apart. With the growth of the cities southwards and northwards respectively there is barely 50 miles separating them now. Yes, Hobart is still progressing, but they have never been quite the same since the Capital, the Railway, Mining and Agricultural Departments were moved up here. A, a matter of fact, our present Premier lives in a houseboat on Hobart Harbour--no, we never had the heart to take that away from them--but it only takes him 19 minutes or so in his Sopwith Pup to go backwards and forwards every day.
What, you have never been in Hobart? Well, step into that televisor box and ask them for a Hobart panoramic call, Harbour and all. Don't be long.
Like it? I thought you would. If you are doing nothing this afternoon we will take a trip around the Island in one of those new airships. It only 1s 6d plus tax.
No, Parliament's not sitting today, although they're Supposed to be in session, but if you would like to go out to the Golf Links--it is only just beyond the City, about 30 miles away--we'll probably see all the members out there. No, Mr. Ockerby hasn't banned golf yet, though there are those who say it has a worse effect on the temper than liquor.
Now that golf played from the new gyroscopic 'planes has became more or less universally popular, there is some talk of evolving Parliamentary sittings out of mechanical men during the winter, when M.H.A.'s have little time for politics. Yes, I agree. The debates of the future may become quite intelligent.
Ah, here we are! That is the first tee. Don't drop your cigarette ash anywhere near that little mound. It puts Mr. Raeburn off his game. See how stationary the gyros are while the players take off from the green? That is Sir John Ramsay. He was the first president of the Rotary Club. They used to lunch at the Brisbane Hotel once a month. They hold their luncheons every other day now in the big airship moored to that big mast over the City. Yes it has all changed, hasn't it--though I believe they still take their luncheons neat. But, as I said, the bar's open till three!
Let's pop over to the Electric Hares. They have electric dogs nowadays, as you probably know. And when it is raining they have electric spectators too, who can shout just like you and me. People who are listening-in or looking-in like to know that there is some excitement and noise amongst the crowd looking mechanically on. I believe coursing was good sport once.
Before we go home let's look in on the River Tamar. It runs right through the heart of the City. See that 17,000-ton liner there at the wharf? I can remember when boats like that used to anchor down the river. They only carry freight now--and a few passengers who cannot stand travelling by aeroplane. They have over 90 feet of water there at Abra's Wharf--that wharf was called after the King at one time. No, 1 cannot say that Mr. Broinowski altogether likes the idea of it. But even "The Mercury" cannot stop that. He tried to defeat the Bill for the Erection Of the 4th "A" Class Broadcasting Station in the North, as Hobart only had two. But public opinion---that is "The Examiner"--and Mr. McPhee were too strong for him. That's Mr. McPhee getting into that aerial express. He has been Premier for 50 years now. Quite young-looking, isn't he? He's just been over to Canberra to see about that Special Grant Tasmania has been asked to make to the Commonwealth. One member of the Opposition told him to tell the Commonwealth that they would be welcome to the other Grant we have in Parliament--but I think he was only joking. Mr. McPhee incidentally opened the new tunnel across Bass Strait while he was in Melbourne. That's the only safe road for motorists these days, what with light 'planes and so forth--I believe some of the old Diehards still ride about in those antiquated contrivances.
This is our Victoria Museum. Let's float inside for a moment. We'll just dwell for a second or two in this chamber devoted to relics of half a century. That document resembling an Egyptian papyrus is the only extant copy of the old Navigation Act, the original draft of which was publicly burnt in Franklin Square in 1940, amidst the execration of the mob. Such was its effect on the Prime Minister of the day, who was spending a few days' holiday in Hobart at the time, that he had the thing expunged from the Constitution. That's the prime reason for the statue Of Mr. Bruce you see in the middle of the Square there. He doesn't look a day over 70, does he! Ocean Pier has never looked back since.
That's the first copy of "The Mercury" after the commencement of the early delivery in Launceston. That's gone out long ago. "The Examiner" started to bring out a comprehensive edition of next day's news before dinner the preceding evening
Just one look at the Gorge before we go. Once upon a time, as Mr. Hans Andersen used to say, it was something of a national event when the Gorge was in flood. Now they manage, by means of huge propellers worked by dynamoes and carefully hidden, to have the Cataract Gorge perpetually in flood--in a continual state of frantic perturbation, as it were. We throw our politicians in there when they peeve us at election time. Not such a bad death, they say. It is illuminated every night with a multi-coloured effect. Every Saturday afternoon the receiving sets which you see at intervals of every 100 yards or so are placed into commission, and give the latest racing results. I won 13s in the Caulfield last year.
Here we are back in town, That eleven-storey building is the Capitol. Yes, it is a picture theatre, as its name suggests. People who wish to listen-in in peace with portable receiving sets can go there for a little quietness. No, they have no orchestras. Yes, sometimes they look at the pictures when the racing results are finished, or during the Children's Hour. I have only seen it empty once. That was when results of a General Election were coming through.
There's a lot more to see, but time's getting on. Televise me after breakfast in the morning and we will go and see some more in the single-seater Moth. Don't bring your pocket listening-in set. It's too distracting. It is interesting now to put the calendar back 50 years to the days when flappers were 17 instead of 47; when railway trains used to crawl between Launceston and Hobart at 40 miles an hour; when boys believed in Father Christmas; when girls wore skirts nearly to the knees; and when the State was in no danger of being overcrowded. Cheerio!
(Originally in the weekly Courier Christmas Annual, 1st November 1928 and you can also find it online)
