The last one

[xenith]

'Twas the night before Christmas -- the very last one --
when the blazing of lasers destroyed all our fun.

Just as Santa had lifted off, driving his sleigh,
A satelite spotted him making his way.

The Star Wars Defense System -- Reagan's desire
Was ready for action, and started to fire!

The laser beams criss-crossed and lit up the sky
Like a fireworks show on the Fourth of July.

I'd just finished wrapping the last of the toys
When out of my chimmney there came a great noise.

I looked to the fireplace, hoping to see
St. Nick bringing presents for Missus and me.

But what I saw next was disturbing and shocking;
A flaming red jacket setting fire to my stocking!

Charred reindeer remains and a melted sleigh-bell;
Outside burning toys like confetti they fell.

So now you know, children, why Christmas is gone:
The Star Wars computer had got something wrong.

Only programmed for battle, it hadn't a heart;
'Twas hardly a chance it would work from the start.

It couldn't be tested, and no one could tell,
If the crazy contraption would work very well.

So after a trillion or two had been spent
The system thought Santa a Red missile sent.

So kids dry your tears now, and get off to bed,
There won't be a Christmas -- since Santa is dead.