Plot thoughts
Feb. 27th, 2011 02:56 pmSo I'm about to start the edit of the final scene, but I know this isn't working. Not the final scene, the whole plot thing.
OK the first part has the MC being chased by men who want to cut him up, and him trying to hide a friend who'll be hanged if caught, and things keep going wrong. It's fairly low key action and the MC is mostly rescued rather than doing anything himself, but I think it works.
But then he's sent off to the town. This creates conflict at first because he's suddenly separated from his friend inc. the one who he was helping It's also allows the MC to learn to stand up for himself, which is necessary for him to "fix things". And gives him access to the people who will allow him to "fix things". These are good things.
Less good is he's not removed from the scene of conflict, and the stakes collapse. He thinks about his friends, of course, but they're not there. He thinks that going to the beach might be considered running away and therefore bad. He thinks a lot. But there's no sense of him being in danger from any of this.
I don't think there's any way to fix this without redoing the whole second half. *sigh* So I don't know what to do about it. I think I 'll let it sit while I get someone to read it. Maybe I'll come up with something :\
(Although it might help to *show* how running away would be bad, by having him do so.)
OK the first part has the MC being chased by men who want to cut him up, and him trying to hide a friend who'll be hanged if caught, and things keep going wrong. It's fairly low key action and the MC is mostly rescued rather than doing anything himself, but I think it works.
But then he's sent off to the town. This creates conflict at first because he's suddenly separated from his friend inc. the one who he was helping It's also allows the MC to learn to stand up for himself, which is necessary for him to "fix things". And gives him access to the people who will allow him to "fix things". These are good things.
Less good is he's not removed from the scene of conflict, and the stakes collapse. He thinks about his friends, of course, but they're not there. He thinks that going to the beach might be considered running away and therefore bad. He thinks a lot. But there's no sense of him being in danger from any of this.
I don't think there's any way to fix this without redoing the whole second half. *sigh* So I don't know what to do about it. I think I 'll let it sit while I get someone to read it. Maybe I'll come up with something :\
(Although it might help to *show* how running away would be bad, by having him do so.)
