Fill the Bowls
(to the tune of "Deck the Halls")
Fill our bowls with freeze-dried liver,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!
Watch our noses start to quiver,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!
Please add bits of cheese and bacon,
Fa-la-la, Fa-la-la, la-la-la!
Happy wags our tails are makin',
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!
Sniff the gifts and shred the wrapping,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!
'Round the Christmas tree go FRAPping*
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!
Swipe a slurp of grandma's eggnog
Fa-la-la, Fa-la-la, la-la-la!
Then relax and be a bedhog
Fa-la-la, Fa-la-la, la-la-la!
(*FRAP = FRenzied Activity Period)
Bark the Christmas Puppy Sings
(to the tune of "Hark the Herald Angels Sing")
"Bark!" the Christmas puppy sings,
Chewing now on Dad's shoestrings.
Running here and running there,
Ripped a hole in Mom's new chair!
Grumpily our hoomins rise, wipe the sleep out of their eyes...
Pup wants "out" at 3 a.m., then at 6 he's up again!
Gosh, we wish that he'd grow up!
Why did they want a Christmas pup?
Kill the Birds
(to the tune of "Silver Bells")
Birds are winging, chirping, singing.
What a terrible din!
How I hate all this avian nuisance!
Jays and grackles raise my hackles.
Here they come back again!
So I lift up my foreleg and plead:
"Kill the birds, kill the birds!
Can't you see? There, where I'm pointing!
There they are - open fire!
We'll bag our limit this year."
Quails and pheasants hide their presence
where there's no one about.
I can almost pretend they're extincted.
But the sparrows raise my hair so,
right in MyMy back Out!
Hiding up where a doggy can't reach.
"Kill the birds, kill the birds!"
this German Shorthair is begging.
"Blast them all, large and small.
We'll have a grand Kissmoose day!"
Winter Wonderland
(to the tune of "Winter Wonderland")
Dog tags ring, are you listenin'?
In the lane snow is glistenin'.
It's yellow, not white - I've been there tonight,
marking up my winter wonderland.
Smell that tree? That's my fragrance.
It's a sign for wand'ring vagrants:
"Avoid where I pee, it's my property!
Marked up as my winter wonderland."
In the meadow Dad will build a snowman,
following the classical design.
Then I'll lift my leg and let it go, man,
so all the world will know it's mine-mine-mine!
Straight from me to the fencepost,
flows my natural incense boast:
"Stay off of my turf, this small piece of earth.
I mark it as my winter wonderland."
