On emotions and things
Feb. 11th, 2013 08:09 pmCounsellor person today wanted to talk about feelings. All right, they always want to talk about feelings but she gave me this piece of paper to take home and write down feelings, and then couldn't understand why I didn't want to write down my feelings. I didn't have the words to explain it then, but found some on the way home.
This is me: O
This is emotions: |
So they go together like: O|
But sometimes they're like: O...........|
And sometimes they're like: O
Of course I feel things, most of the time. I can be happy & sad, and angry & scared & satisfied & excited. But they're sort of on the outside, like skin and cold. Sometimes they switch off, because otherwise I'd be upset, or I'm tired, or I don't want to bothered feeling things. Other times, they have to be consciously turned on (like in a pleasant situation where I realise I should be happy, and then I am; or in a situation I don't like, and I think I should be upset, and then I am). But mostly they're there, just outside, and the outsideness varies.
Although sometimes there is no emotion. Some show on ABC a coupe of years ago about sociopaths was trying to explain the difference between autistic people and sociopaths. They used the example of seeing someone upset on TV and not feeling anything. I don't think that was a good example. People on TV are people on TV, and to "connect emotionally" takes a deliberate effort. I do with news shows, that is wonder what they might be feeling and then try that on. Not so much with dramas. This might be why I prefer murder mysteries & police dramas. I can engage intellectually with the mystery, rather than emotionally.
However, just because I feel something, doesn't mean I'm going to react. My mother tells me when I very young and I was given present, I didn't act happy about it. I think reacting to emotions is a learned thing. It does vary between cultures. Now sometimes I don't react, because I'm not sure what's expected, or if the emotion is appropriate, or if I've understood the situation right. But that's how I respond to most situations in public. Just because there's no emotional reaction, doesn't mean there's no emotion.
So writing down how I feel at a point in time is... complicated, because it requires feeling something, reacting to it, and then somehow internalising it enough to put it in words. That doesn't happen.
The other thing counsellors like to do, is ask how I felt during a particular event or to recall a time when I felt (whatever). I usually this by trying to recall how I behaved and attaching an appropriate emotion, but I did wonder today if they assume emotions attach to memories?
Also I think this is a "problem" with my fiction writing. My characters don't react or enagage emotionally as a matter of course, because I don't. But that's another problem :)
This is me: O
This is emotions: |
So they go together like: O|
But sometimes they're like: O...........|
And sometimes they're like: O
Of course I feel things, most of the time. I can be happy & sad, and angry & scared & satisfied & excited. But they're sort of on the outside, like skin and cold. Sometimes they switch off, because otherwise I'd be upset, or I'm tired, or I don't want to bothered feeling things. Other times, they have to be consciously turned on (like in a pleasant situation where I realise I should be happy, and then I am; or in a situation I don't like, and I think I should be upset, and then I am). But mostly they're there, just outside, and the outsideness varies.
Although sometimes there is no emotion. Some show on ABC a coupe of years ago about sociopaths was trying to explain the difference between autistic people and sociopaths. They used the example of seeing someone upset on TV and not feeling anything. I don't think that was a good example. People on TV are people on TV, and to "connect emotionally" takes a deliberate effort. I do with news shows, that is wonder what they might be feeling and then try that on. Not so much with dramas. This might be why I prefer murder mysteries & police dramas. I can engage intellectually with the mystery, rather than emotionally.
However, just because I feel something, doesn't mean I'm going to react. My mother tells me when I very young and I was given present, I didn't act happy about it. I think reacting to emotions is a learned thing. It does vary between cultures. Now sometimes I don't react, because I'm not sure what's expected, or if the emotion is appropriate, or if I've understood the situation right. But that's how I respond to most situations in public. Just because there's no emotional reaction, doesn't mean there's no emotion.
So writing down how I feel at a point in time is... complicated, because it requires feeling something, reacting to it, and then somehow internalising it enough to put it in words. That doesn't happen.
The other thing counsellors like to do, is ask how I felt during a particular event or to recall a time when I felt (whatever). I usually this by trying to recall how I behaved and attaching an appropriate emotion, but I did wonder today if they assume emotions attach to memories?
Also I think this is a "problem" with my fiction writing. My characters don't react or enagage emotionally as a matter of course, because I don't. But that's another problem :)
